Let’s face it. The world is pretty messed up, and there’s not a lot I can do about it. There’s not a lot, but there is some. I think that people who care about the well-being of other human beings can play a small part in improving things. I believe that my part is to get the message out that we can’t let fear control us. We can’t let others use fear to control us. If I had the moxie and the time, I’d do a Kickstarter to help people deal with the fear that permeates our lives. I’d start an anti-fear non-profit organization. I’d develop an anti-fear or pro-courage app. I’m not that person, though. I’m an idea gal. I’ll use my writing and my art to inspire others to take the kind of action they are good at taking.
Okay, so I know fear is sometimes necessary. It’s designed to keep us safe. Most of us in the United States are safe. I know children are being abused, people don’t have access to healthcare, and there are huge amounts of lead in some cities’ water systems. And there’s tons of other stuff to worry about. Oh boy! Take a step back, though. Look at your life right now. Are you relatively okay? Are you on fire? Are you being shot at right now? If things like that aren’t going on in your life at this moment, you’re okay. Relax and breathe. Maybe you can smile.
Perhaps my take-home message is “take a moment to smile.” That advice may not help anyone except me, but I’m the only person I’m in charge of. I’ll try and do my best managing little ‘ole me.
I have to keep remembering that there is hope.
Last night I had a little breakdown. I made the mistake of visiting a web site where people were talking about their experience with, Copaxone, the MS drug I’ll be taking. Some said they’ve been on it for over a decade and had no problems. Some experienced skin irritation at the injection site. There were various other statements about the drug. As I skimmed through the comments it really started to hit me that I have this condition and I’m going to have to deal with it. Then I started to feel sorry for myself. “Why did this happen to me?” I asked. “It’s not fair!” I whined. Then there were tears.
I know having MS is not the worst thing in the world, but last night, it felt that way. I also know that I have to maintain a positive attitude, because negativity will only make things worse. I know these things, but sometimes you want to throw yourself a big old pity party.
There is hope for me. They’ve made great strides in the treatment of MS, and it is likely that by being compliant with my medication and taking good care of myself I can go the rest of my life without a relapse. Hope abounds!
I made some progress in the last few days. I went and voted on Tuesday. I went to the bank and to the store yesterday. I’m going to be okay. I’ll even say I’m going to be great!
And I found a new coloring app called Pigment. It’s much more like real coloring than Recolor.
Colored with Pigment.
Whisper – April 26
Water is noisy. Trees are tall. Hope is graceful.
I will speak quietly.
Water is destructive. Trees are necessary. Hope is beauty.
I will start over.
I need some time, and some space.
And then there’s energy. I need more energy.
You see, there are so many things that I want to do.
There are things I want to build. Beautiful things I want to give birth to and then nurture, and then release.
I have hope. I have all kinds of hope, but that hope only causes more wonderful ideas to bubble to the surface.
The bubbles come up, and then pop, and what was inside of those bubbles might float away if I don’t at least make a start.
Write it down. Write everything down until you have a big fat pulpy stack. The stack will start to yellow and decay if you don’t act-if I don’t act.
I said at the beginning that I need some space and time, but I think both are somehow the same. I don’t know how that helps.