I applied for a job that I am almost qualified for. I did not get an interview for said job. I’m okay with that.
The u(U)niverse has a plan for me. I know I’m on the right path even though I have doubts sometime. You see, I felt positive about the job as soon as I applied, but my confidence started to fade as the weeks passed. It wasn’t that I thought the job was out of reach. Instead, it was as if something shifted in the aether. I started to know that the job wasn’t meant for me. Something better is coming, and every moment of every day moving me closer to that something.
I have this dream of making something artful and selling it. Maybe I would do that for a living, maybe not. I’d have a wonderful studio like you see in the magazine, Where Women Create.
My troupe leader, Margaret, is hosting a belly dance workshop in conjunction with the Bloomington Belly Dances event. The workshop (taught by Kandice Grossman) is called Ancestry in Progress (New School & Old School Belly Dance Using the Suhaila Salimpour Technique). There will be vending, and Margaret said that I could vend! I’ve decided to take a chance and see if anyone wants to buy some of my digital art. I found a pretty good deal on 8 x 10 prints on linen paper from Scrapbooks Please, so I worked up a couple of things and had them printed. i think they’re okay.
Sadie and my prints.
I’m going to try a few more things before the print sale ends. I’m starting small, but I feel like I can do this! I’m moving toward my hopes and dreams.
And I got a blog post out of it too!
Taken with iPhone 5s
Edited with Aviary for iPhone
I can’t complain about today. It felt pretty good. Rehearsal was productive. Our two pieces for Bloomington Belly Dances are falling into place. The ankle I twisted yesterday is feeling much better. I even got the book on making bead jewelry that I ordered from Amazon. It was delivered by USPS, on Sunday! I went to the Y with Dad. He walked, I did my full body strength workout and then stretched.
It was an ordinary Sunday, but I felt hopeful. I thought of more things I want to do, but don’t have time to do, and it didn’t fill me with angst and despair. Looking at the bead jewelry book made me think, “I can make jewelry, and even make pieces good enough to sell,” eventually.
I’m feeling overwhelmed lately. I’ve got so many ideas and projects swimming around in my head. It’s like my brain is an overpopulated aquarium. Too many little fish are eating the food meant for the big fish, so the bigs start feasting on the littles. This analogy can only end with rotting carcasses and a bad smell, so I’ll stop now.
I haven’t been able to bring myself to the blogging table for quite a few days. Every time I think of writing, i talk myself out of it. I say that it’s stupid and unimportant. I tell myself that it’s okay to not add my noise the the Internet every day, or every week.
The fact is, I don’t want to do anything, but I really do. I want to do everything! i want to make things. I want to draw and paint. I want to make necklaces.
I want time.
I could have time if i got up early in the morning. If I could get up early and do productive things every morning, everything would change. The experts say that successful people get up early. I think I want to be successful. How would I measure success? That’s another post.
I had better start before it’s too late hadn’t I?
I need some time, and some space.
And then there’s energy. I need more energy.
You see, there are so many things that I want to do.
There are things I want to build. Beautiful things I want to give birth to and then nurture, and then release.
I have hope. I have all kinds of hope, but that hope only causes more wonderful ideas to bubble to the surface.
The bubbles come up, and then pop, and what was inside of those bubbles might float away if I don’t at least make a start.
Write it down. Write everything down until you have a big fat pulpy stack. The stack will start to yellow and decay if you don’t act-if I don’t act.
I said at the beginning that I need some space and time, but I think both are somehow the same. I don’t know how that helps.
I should write a Godzilla Haiku Number 2 sometime.