I just don’t know about this dancing business

I have this on-again, off-again relationship with dance. Sometimes I love dancing. Sometimes I find dancing to be fun. Sometimes I think it’s the most ridiculous thing in the world to do. The act of standing in front of people and moving my body in certain ways just seems ridiculous. Did I mention that I have an undergraduate and graduate degree in dance? Ridiculous!

I do more belly dancing than modern dancing these days. My troupe, Different Drummer Belly Dancers does tribal fusion belly dance. I’ve found that dancing with the troupe actually feels fun to me.

I do dance as a solo act. I’ve been struggling with finding my own style. I want to be able to fuse modern dance with belly dance in way that is original and expressive, but I haven’t figured it out yet. I think I would have an easier time if my belly dancing skills were better. When it comes down to it, I’m more of a performance artist than a dancer.

Our big gig at the Fourth Street Arts Festival is coming up and I can’t decide if I want to solo or not. At the moment I don’t think that I have anything to express. I’m concerned that every solo I do is just a rehash of the same old moves. I don’t’ know that I have anything to give to an audience. I can’t even decide on a song. Should I improvise on the spot, or choreograph in advance?

I’m managing to make this stressful and not fun. I would love to create a performance art piece, but I don’t think I have time to come up with something clever enough to hold it’s own at this event.

This is what comes of being a dabbler. I do a lot of things relatively well, but I don’t a speciality.

I just don’t know.

My plan to get out of this dancing funk is to find a song and choreograph a solo specifically using moves that are not in my normal comfort zone. I’ll force my self to grow! That sounds like fun doesn’t it?

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